More Babies 2 Fill This Void!

I finally know why some woman have so many children!

Z is 18 months and everyday she has made me smile, laugh, mad and cry. Yes, an 18-month-old baby makes me cry. Now it’s not an everyday thing, but once in awhile I get choked up.

You sit and wait for your child to hit each milestone and even push for it to happen because them doing something as simple as sitting up is as exciting as seeing the 49’ers win the Super Bowl.

My little Buddha belly has already turned over, sat up, crawled, and now has mastered walking/speed walking. What’s next? If you think about it there’s really nothing! Within the next year and a half they’ll probably be going to school and soon after they’ll be independent the constant needing you for everything will be far gone.

Last week I started to dress Z and started to weep out of nowhere. Seriously, if anyone had seen me they’d probably institutionalize me. I just couldn’t help, but cry.

And it doesn’t help that everyone is having babies! Its like the new wave for the baby boom. They’re lives are just beginning and I remember how that felt. It was scary, overwhelming yet amazing. These tiny little humans were yours to nurture into a healthy toddler.

There’s no other feeling that can compare to having your first child. My niece is 5-years-old and is already embarrassed of her parents and is quite independent– it’s scary! I cried last year when I saw her ballet rehearsal! I know what a baby. These kids grow up so fast and I wonder what they’ll be like when they get older.

Will she let me still smother her in wet kisses? Will she let me kiss her feet? What about squeeze her butt? And how about cuddling? Questions that will soon be answered and hope all are yes! Okay, maybe not the butt squeezing ’cause that would be weird, but everything else better be yes!

Already I’m experiencing that empty feeling and have wondered about having another child. That’s when it clicked– I now understand why some people have such big families. It gets lonely. And when one child doesn’t need you the younger ones will. And when that one kicks you to the curb a baby will fill that void.

Do you ever feel like that?