Watching Porn is Cheating!?

Is watching porn cheating? Ask a man that question and boy do they get riled up. Ask a woman that question and there are many different opinions on it.

I decided to ask this question both on my Facebook page and on babycenter.com and got many responses. Throughout my pregnancy I would read on many threads of women complaining that their men were cheating on them sexually and emotionally with another person or by watching porn. I didn’t know watching porn was cheating, but these women got me thinking!

During pregnancy one may not be as sexual as they were before, which some men- REAL MEN, can understand. So since the woman can’t “function” as well as she use to it should be okay for their man to get sexually stimulated by a porno video. However, pregnancy messes up all your hormones and you become a crazy woman.

In the Bible it states, “if a man looks with lust he has already committed adultery in his heart.” I’m not religious, but thought that was interesting and this is what many women believe. Yes, he may lust for another woman, but loves you. I don’t want to hear that crap, nobody does.

Women find porn to be an issue or cheating because we think he wants to be with that woman and he imagines being with that woman. Okay so, it’s only your imagination, but why not imagine us doing all those crazy tricks when you want to let one loose? It can cause a woman to feel insecure, ugly and unwanted. Many women don’t have that confidence to overcome it, so why not respect her feelings? It’s not insecurity, which men always want to throw in a woman’s face when she states she doesn’t feel comfortable with it. Whatever the reasons for a partner not to like it and another to like it, a conversation definitely needs to happen to find a happy medium for both, if there is one.

“Why not imagine us doing those crazy tricks?” When I asked that question i got a response from a man of course stating ‘it would just be weird and they need a different type of sexual stimulation from time to time.’ It’s not cheating because you will never see this porn-star in real life’ – but wait. What if you did see them in person? What then (different story, I know)? Then comes another question, if it’s not cheating then why do men hide it? Apparently some men may find it as their “me” time and don’t meed to share it or they can even feel ashamed that they watch it. Everybody is different.

I don’t want to go hard on the men, because women too watch porn and sometimes are more addictive to it then men. What many women result to, say when their not in the mood or for whatever reason, they bring out a very special friend. That’s not cheating either. That’s a woman’s marital aid, just like porn can be the man’s marital aid- it should be there to help not destroy a relationship.

In a relationship you learn not every issue you have needs to be a fight, you need to choose your battles wisely. So is watching porn really a battle you want to go into? I think it’s only an issue when it becomes an addiction, they do it everyday or rather watch porn than be intimate with you. I think it should be okay when a woman is on her monthly cycle or just when she’s not in the mood, to pop that DVD in.

What women need to keep in mind is that most men don’t personalize their feelings of “getting off” with a paid “ho.” They may have a favorite porn-star, but there is no monogamy in watching porn. That was also said by a man and it’s something that struck as “huh” moment.

The only possible solutions I could come up with to help, is watch porn together! You can learn how to role play with their characters for a future day and you learn new tricks. The next is to see if making your own home video works. If it does, then yay for you! Lastly, if your still uncomfortable with the idea of him watching porn or it’s not your thing to watch it then talk it out and set boundaries if possible.